Drop the 40, Switch to 35: Life Requires It

Over the past few weeks, my aunt, uncle and cousins moved back from Cali to the East Coast. As we enter August, Sir (my cousin/little brother who I practically grew up with) asked me, "Jacob, man, what do you want for your birthday?" Thinking about it, I was trying to figure out something, but I realized the gift that I really want is something I will have to get for myself. Before I share that with you, let me give you the context of how this decision came about. 


July 3, 2012 was a life-alternating date for me. Under immense stress personally and professionally, there are major changes occurring simultaneously that caused my body to react in an unhealthy way. I felt numbness on my whole right hand side and significant, sharp chest pains. Assuming I was having a stroke, I asked my mother to take me to the hospital.


Doctors and nurses determined immediately that my blood pressure was 178/99 (one step away from ICU). Given my age and the pain/numbness continued, the nurses and doctors were very concerned. Although I explained what happened and how I typically work best under stress, I couldn’t make it through. Some may contribute it to nerves, others may say fear. It was neither. 

It was anger. We were so close. I wasn't able to fulfill what I, as a person and a leader, wanted for my team and more importantly, my community who I am proud to serve. This rage continued, causing my blood pressure to not reduced until I spoke with one of the interns who was around my age. Entering into business himself, he looked at me and said, “Wow, man, your 25 and you ended up here for your dream? I commend you, but I’m scared. This is what I am going to end up like?” 


While some may think “well that's supportive; what a great time to say that crap”, in a way, it was an honest reaction that not only did I appreciate, but needed to hear to acknowledge where I was fully situated.  It put everything into perspective, one I wish I never ended up in. However, I’m thankful for the truth – it pushed me to realize things can’t be the same as it was before.


Several phone calls, obviously, came in from my brothers, sister, aunts, uncles, friends all giving advice or yelling at me in some sort of way – all, though, out of concern and love. My parents switched shifts until I was cleared from all the testing and was discharged in the afternoon on the 4th of July.


My chief of staff contacted my Chairperson of my organization's Board of Directors to let him  and the Board know what happened. Come to find out, he called me as soon as I got home and stated, "Don’t even think about, three weeks of vacation and I will call the doctor on you if you don't follow suit” Laughing it off, I was pleased. I put myself second, third or fourth to other things. It made me think of my grandmother who use to say all the time, “If you don’t help yourself, how you are gonna help others?”


So, during this summer, I took the time to listen to music more intently, watched movies and write poetry more. I slowly shifted myself back to hip hop, contemporary and lyrical dance after a 4 year absence. I started hanging out with my friends recently, too –  all things that I shut down thinking it was sacrifice when instead it was a determent to my well being. 


Reaching the end of my “vacation” this past week, my follow-up Monday afternoon indicated I am a “clean of bill of health.” As my doctor said it best, “You must be doing something right – blood pressure is 120/75, no major health concerns. Continue to build time for you, Jacob.” My family encouraged me that it doesn't mean I giving up on anything at all. It is instead being more honest, strategic, positive and balanced with everything.


So, my birthday wish follows doctor's orders, but is much more bigger than that. My gift is to take care of me more. Looking back at all of this, things could have been done differently where all of this may have not happen. Yet, I take it as sign for me as my cousins say, "Care for Jay, as much as you do for others." I hear you all, loud and clear. I neglected it and God willing, it will never happen again. More importantly,


Starting August 3 to September 7, I am going to commit to the 40 day challenge of personal growth I was going to start in April into 35 towards my birthday. It isn’t limited to these 35 days, as taking care of you it is a lifelong commitment. Yet, it is a starting point. And as I continue to share this journey with you all online as “a form of accountability”, I look forward to your encouragement and support. I am going to need it.


I also hope this post makes you take a little bit more care of yourselves, as well. We only got one shot of this game called life – let’s play it smart, play it well and make it pass, go. We all want that $200! Love you all. See you soon!


::drops mic::
::exit stage left::